Emptiness. Boredom. A weight in your chest that you can’t shake off. Yet, a hollowness inside that you can’t fill. ‘What’s the point’ thoughts. Sadness. Scared. Scared of the future, of the next hour, of whether you’ll ever recover. Scared of the people around you, of leaving your room, of how deep that cut was. Fogginess of the mind. Worry. Worry that people will perceive you as lazy, silly, attention-seeking. Tiredness that can’t be quenched with 18 hours sleep or those nights when you simply can’t sleep because your mind just keeps thinking about everything and everyone. No hope. Pain. Constant headaches. Urges to do stupid things. Heartache. Moments of disassociation. Depersonalisation. Loneliness. Stress that you’ll be stuck this way. Looking at the person you used to be and seeing how much has changed. Struggle. Struggling to get out of bed, to live, to hush the thoughts. Hopeless. Helpless. Crying over not a lot. Inability to cry but the mind and heart feels like it needs to. No interest in anything except the film that’s on tv that you aren’t even watching and even if you tried, it wouldn’t make sense because the words and people aren’t comprehendible. Aches everywhere in the body that just are illogical. Worthlessness. Panic. Emptiness.